The Weight We Were Never Meant to Carry
Share
A reckoning with forgiveness
Some wounds don’t bleed — but they bind us just the same.
You can smile through them. Achieve through them. Even laugh through them.
But still, they pull at your ribs in the quiet hours, reminding you of what was never made right.
We are taught many things growing up — how to speak, how to win, how to survive.
But almost no one teaches us how to forgive.
Not truly.
They tell us to “let it go,”
But not how to carry what still hurts in your chest.
They tell us to “move on,”
But not how to grieve the apology that will never come.
What Forgiveness Is Not
Let’s get this out of the way first.
Forgiveness is not approval.
It’s not forgetting.
It’s not pretending it didn’t break you.
And it sure as hell isn’t welcoming the harm back in.
No.
Forgiveness is what you choose for yourself —
when you are tired of being angry but don’t want to forget.
When you are done bleeding for what someone else did,
and ready to stitch the wound from the inside out.
Forgiveness is choosing peace over proof.
It’s reclaiming your life from a story that was never fair.
Letting Go of Grudges
Grudges are heavy.
They take up space where your joy could live.
But here’s the truth:
You don’t owe your pain to anyone.
You don’t owe it to your past.
You don’t owe it to the version of you that kept replaying what happened, hoping it might finally end differently.
You can still remember. Still feel.
And still let it go.
Healing Past Wounds
Forgiveness doesn’t always feel beautiful.
Sometimes, it’s ragged and tired and shaking with rage.
But it’s healing, slowly.
It’s choosing not to let a single moment define all the moments to come.
It’s letting your soul be more than a scar.
How Do You Forgive?
You start by telling the truth.
Not the edited version.
Not the one that makes it easier for others to accept.
The real one.
Even if you only say it to yourself.
This hurt me.
This wasn’t fair.
This still lingers in me.
And then, you listen — with empathy.
To your own pain.
To your own story.
As if it were your best friend speaking.
Because forgiveness doesn’t start with the one who harmed you.
It starts with honoring the one who was hurt: you.
Step One: Empathize with Your Younger Self
Picture the version of you who lived through it.
Maybe they were confused.
Maybe they blamed themselves.
Maybe they still do.
Now speak to them like someone you love.
Let them cry.
Let them rage.
Let them be seen — by you.
Forgiveness begins when we stop silencing our own wounds in the name of peace.
Step Two: Acknowledge the Cost
Name what it took from you.
What you stopped believing in.
What changed in you.
Forgiveness is not about minimizing the damage.
It’s about reclaiming your right to feel the weight — and then set it down.
Step Three: Choose What You Want to Carry
Ask yourself gently:
Do I still want to hold this?
Is it helping me, or hurting me?
If the answer is hurting, then begin to let go —
not all at once, not perfectly.
But piece by piece.
With tenderness, not force.
Step Four: Rewrite the Ending
They may never say sorry.
But you get to decide what happens next.
You get to shape how this lives in you now.
Not as a wound that keeps reopening —
but as proof that you survived what they never made right.
Step Five: Practice Peace
Forgiveness is not a one-time act.
It’s a quiet, steady return to peace.
Some days you’ll feel free.
Other days you’ll feel the sting again.
But each time, you’ll remember:
You chose yourself.
You chose not to let their harm live in you forever.
And that —
That is an act of radical love.
Reconciliation ≠ Reunion
Not every relationship deserves a second chance.
Sometimes, forgiveness is what you do quietly, from a distance.
No call. No coffee. No reunion.
Just peace.
You can forgive someone
and still never speak their name again.
You can love who they were
and still grieve who they chose to become.
Forgiveness is yours.
It does not belong to them.
Self-Forgiveness: The Hardest Kind
You’ve made mistakes. So has everyone.
But what you did when you were surviving isn’t proof of your worth.
It’s proof that you were hurting.
You do not have to keep punishing yourself
to prove that you care.
You can be sorry and still move forward.
You can learn, and still love yourself.
You can be worthy of forgiveness —
even if no one taught you how to give it.
Acts of Kindness, Carried Forward
Forgiveness is not a finish line.
It’s a practice.
A sacred decision to bring peace into the places that were once all fire.
So maybe you start today.
Maybe you forgive a parent who couldn’t love the way you needed.
Maybe you forgive a friend who walked away without explanation.
Maybe you forgive yourself for the nights you stayed silent,
or the mornings you couldn’t get out of bed.
Let the world be softer because you chose not to stay hardened.
Let your story be freer
because you chose not to carry what was never yours.
Final Words
They may never say sorry.
But you can still say:
I’m done.
And that?
That is freedom.
Lots of Love - Thîrteen