You Said It Was About the Children

June 15, 2025

A takedown of the lie that these attacks are “about protecting kids” — and an exposé on what truly harms them.

Maybe you’ve never said the words out loud.
Maybe you’re not one of the loud ones.
You just wanted to protect your kid.
To shield them from something you didn’t understand.
To keep them “innocent.”

But what if I told you…
the thing you were shielding them from
was never the danger?

🧠 What You Said, and What It Cost

You said it was about protecting children.
You said it wasn’t hate. Just concern.
Just tradition.
Just wanting them to grow up with values.

But what value is worth more than a child’s life?

What tradition is sacred enough
to justify a child's shame?

Because shame is exactly what you're handing them,
not in the form of a slur, or a fist,
but in what you refuse to teach.
What you erase.
What you pull them away from in silence.

Children don’t need you to pretend the world is simple.
They need you to tell the truth —
in love, and without fear.

📊 Who’s Actually at Risk?

You want to talk about safety? Then let’s.

According to the CDC and U.S. Department of Justice:

Suicide is the second leading cause of death for people aged 10–24.

More than 1 in 7 children live with a mental health disorder — most without treatment.

Over 90% of child abuse cases are committed by cisgender, heterosexual individuals.

The leading environments for childhood trauma? Home and school.

Not queer spaces.
Not drag shows.
Not books with two moms.

Meanwhile:

LGBTQIA+ youth who face rejection at home are more than 8 times more likely to attempt suicide.

Kids who are bullied for being “different” — whether for gender, race, size, or silence — are more likely to suffer depression, anxiety, and academic failure.

But when even one adult affirms them?
Their risk of suicide drops by over 40%.

So if this is about the children…
why are the ones who need you most being erased?

✋🏽 The Pull That Teaches Shame

You don’t need to say, “We don’t support that.”
You don’t even need to speak at all.

They’ll feel it in your body.

They’ll feel it in the way your hand grips theirs tighter
when someone different walks by.
They’ll feel it when you change the channel,
lower your voice,
pull away.

And if that child ever starts to feel those same things inside themselves?
The questions. The differences. The quiet knowing?

Then they’ll remember the pull.
And they’ll wonder how tightly you'd grip their hand
if you ever found out about them.

That’s how shame is passed down —
not with cruelty,
but with quiet fear.

🧠 The Fear You Were Taught

You weren’t born with this fear either.

Someone taught you that “protecting kids” meant filtering out anyone who lived differently.
That queerness was confusing.
That gender nonconformity was unsafe.
That exposure meant contamination.

But no one panics when a Disney prince kisses a princess.
No one bans books where boys become soldiers, or girls become brides.

So let’s be honest:

This was never about content.
It was about control.

And fear, when it’s dressed as righteousness,
feels like a shield — even as it cuts.

🕯️ What They Needed

Let’s bring it back to the children.

Not the slogans.
Not the “talking points.”
The actual kids.

The ones crying under their covers
because they don’t know how to tell their parents who they are.
The ones getting quieter in class
because last time they spoke up, the room laughed.
The ones sitting in hospital beds
after trying to erase themselves
because they believed it would hurt less than rejection.

And yes — even the “straight” ones.

The boys who were told to man up.
The girls who were told to shrink.
The sensitive ones. The odd ones. The quiet ones.

Because when you teach a child that there's only one right way to be —
you don’t just hurt the ones who don’t fit.
You hurt the ones trying desperately to mold themselves into something survivable.

And some of them never make it.

🧠 A Truth That Could Save Them

Children are not endangered by exposure to kindness, or truth, or difference.
They are endangered by the silence that follows their questions.

You can teach children about gender identity without confusing them.
You can teach them about love without making it inappropriate.
You can teach them about difference without making it dangerous.

What you normalize early becomes obvious later.

If a child grows up knowing that some families have two moms —
they won’t blink when they meet one.
If a child grows up hearing that some people don’t feel like a boy or a girl —
they won’t feel fear. They’ll feel language.

And if a child grows up feeling seen —
they won’t have to choose between being loved and being alive.

🌪️ The Grave You Didn't Expect

Somewhere, a parent is standing in a bedroom that hasn’t changed.
The clothes still folded.
The posters still taped to the wall.
The voicemail still saved.

They thought they had more time.

Time to come around.
Time to understand.
Time to say, “I love you exactly as you are,”
instead of,
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
Instead of,
“You know I love you, I just don’t support it.”
Instead of silence.

Now, it’s too late.
And no law, no pulpit, no righteous cause
can bring that child back.

💔 If You Really Cared

If this was ever about the children,
you’d care about the ones who are scared to come home.
The ones being bullied in school.
The ones who don’t talk in class anymore.
The ones writing suicide notes before they’ve even had their first kiss.

You wouldn’t be banning their books.
You’d be reading them.

You wouldn’t be punishing their pronouns.
You’d be protecting their peace.

You wouldn’t be policing what makes them feel whole.
You’d be doing everything you could to make sure they stay.

So if you say you care about the children…
then care about all of them.